Once we arrived at the park after walking 5 miles there, under the piping hot sun, there was no turning back. And I think mom realized that because her mind went on autopilot. No longer on manual drive, her objective was to walk with the intent of surviving. Whenever I turned around to check on her, she looked smaller and smaller and her face was expressionless.

Eyes glossy, lips dried and drenched in sweat. She didn’t even bother to wipe it off. I also think I saw a tear. At one moment, I thought that she was going to tumble down the hill. Especially when we made it back to the car but not without circling it five times just to meet the goal step count in my health app.

Mom never left the couch the entire weekend and she never joined us again after that. One day, during me and Bouj’s walk back to the house, I spotted something unusual in the yard. Laying on the pavement were two cats. One was black and the other was white. They were staring at each other. It was fascinating to observe their interaction because they reminded me of Yin & Yang.

After graduating from college, I used to get into discussions with my family about what I should be doing with my life (who doesn’t?). I wanted to pursue my passions, but I also wanted to make money. So, here is a gist of how the conversations went:

Person A’s response to me saying that “I want to pursue my goals”.

• “Want to write a book? I believe in you! However, you need money to fund your dreams. You also need wifi, a computer, a car, pay off your credit card bill, and you need a little cash to buy a latte at the cafe so you don’t get kicked out of the establishment for using their free wifi…”

Person B’s response to me saying that “I want to pursue my goals”.

• “Want to write a book? Go ahead! You don’t need money to pursue your goals. Don’t have money? Great! Less you have to worry about. You have everything that you need. You have a laptop, wifi at home, build relationships with people, travel the world because we have family everywhere, trust that the money will come…”

I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to go about either choice. They are both realistic and reasonable yet uncomfortable journeys.